I
have a terminal illness. It's called Alicante Airport's No.1 runway-
and last week it flew to the top of my most embarrassing moments. By
a distance.
I
made a public exhibition of myself in front of half the population
of Spain. Or to be more accurate, the weekly Fun Quiz at Monte's Bar
in Los Montesinos.
The
British expat community here in the Costas, particularly those of us
growing longer in the tooth (if we have any left) are quite partial
to quiz evenings. It's good fun, the partaking is more important than
the winning (she lied) and for anyone who has a semblance of a brain,
the nearest we'll ever get to a Mastermind audition.
It
is also living proof that nostalgia really is what it used to
be...and one of the few benefits of being a Golden Girl.
Last
week's cliffhanger at Monte's ended in two-way deadlock, so our team
of Marjory, Ian, the two Pats and yours truly found ourselves facing
a tie-breaker question. My lips broke into a quiet smirk as my
disintegrating memory flashed back to the previous occasion two teams
finished all square. We weren't involved, so my guess was irrelevant
– but when I hit the exact figure for the capacity of Lord's
cricket ground (28,000) our gang were gobsmacked.
This
time it was another numbers game. How long, in metres, is the main
runway at Alicante Airport? Cue suggestions from the team of 3,000
and 4,000. ''It's much more than that, insisted Mrs Knowall,
“Something like 9,000 I reckon.''
'Sum
thing' had clearly snapped as I tried to figure out the difference
between metres and yards because in my mind it seemed to make sense.
To have Darren standing over us waiting for an answer merely added to
my confusion.
Amazingly
my stubbornness prevailed, despite everyone else's enormous doubts. I
got my way and we lost by a distance.
I
paid for it big time, too. The repeated peals of laughter that
accompanied our normally sedate drive back to El Raso were all at my
expense.
And
if you are ever confronted by an imaginary runway stretching from
Alicante Airport through El Altet and out cross the Mediterranean,
you know where it came from.
