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6 June 2015

Why Britain's refuse-collection system is rubbish


LAST year it started when the residue of a half-eaten McDonald’s big-belly burger, or something equally obnoxious. was jammed between the balustrades on my garden wall.

The Britterbugs were back to declare their annual war on overseas territories – and the streets of the Costas were about to be adorned with the summer trappings and wrappings of the chip-butty brigade. The very same chip-butty brigade who litter Britain's streets an countryside with everything from chewing gum and cigarette ends to beer cans, coke bottles and of course fast-food waste.

Informed observers reckon Britain is the dirtiest country in western Europe – and I have no doubt that observation is correct. Whenever go back there seems to be more litter on the streets than in the dustbins. But how can local councils expect their citizens to keep Britain tidy when they allow the locality to be littered with smelly bins that are emptied a couple of times a month at most? Black, brown, blue, green – my family in north Manchester are so confused that they invariably put the wrong waste in the wrong bin. And that means a curt note left on the unemptied bin when collection time eventually arrives.

If UK authorities weren't so stupidly blind to the ideas of Johnny Foreigner, they'd switch to the Spanish refuse collection system tomorrow. Here's why.

UNITED KINGDOM - Method: Individual wheelie bins for recyclable rubbish, non-recyclable waste, cans/bottles and garden refuse; daytime collections once a fortnight at best. Problems: Pile-up of household waste because of insufficient collections; traffic disruption during collections, particularly in side streets and cul de sacs.

SPAIN - Method: Large communal bins for various types of waste within easy walking distance; collections every evening. Advantage: No unsightly bins outside houses; no interference with traffic; no pile-up of waste. Problems: None as far as I can see.

As for cleaning up the mess that's already there, we have a ready-made workforce in our prisons. A close friend was talking recently to a man who had just completed a three-month jail sentence for assaulting a man who had abused his daughter. The released man said it was the easiest three months of his life.

Never mind digging into the Treasury coffers. It's time to get those chain gangs working to clean up Britain, American style. With proven litterbugs and pooper-nonscoopers sweating alongside.

What is also needed is for us all to take the Jeremy Paxman approach to litter louts – and reprimand the perpetrators. Easier said than done, you might say, bearing in mind that the 6ft 3in former Newsnight inquisitor is as physically intimidating a he is with interviewees.

Paxman says: “I have found when you confront people and say 'excuse me, you just dropped this', nine times out of 10, you might be unlucky on the 10th one, but nine times out of 10 they will say 'oh, sorry' and will take it away," he says.
“It's a beautiful country and I just don't understand why people want to make it full of sh**."


Maybe he should ask the mucky pups responsible for making it virtually impossible to tread the pavements of El Raso without kicking up a stink.