LAST year it started when the residue
of a half-eaten McDonald’s big-belly burger, or something equally
obnoxious. was jammed between the balustrades on my garden wall.
The Britterbugs were back to declare
their annual war on overseas territories – and the streets of the
Costas were about to be adorned with the summer trappings and
wrappings of the chip-butty brigade. The very same chip-butty brigade
who litter Britain's streets an countryside with everything from
chewing gum and cigarette ends to beer cans, coke bottles and of
course fast-food waste.
Informed observers reckon Britain is
the dirtiest country in western Europe – and I have no doubt that
observation is correct. Whenever go back there seems to be more
litter on the streets than in the dustbins. But how can local
councils expect their citizens to keep Britain tidy when they allow
the locality to be littered with smelly bins that are emptied a
couple of times a month at most? Black, brown, blue, green – my
family in north Manchester are so confused that they invariably put
the wrong waste in the wrong bin. And that means a curt note left on
the unemptied bin when collection time eventually arrives.
If
UK authorities weren't so stupidly blind to the ideas of Johnny
Foreigner, they'd switch to the Spanish refuse collection system
tomorrow. Here's why.
UNITED
KINGDOM - Method: Individual
wheelie bins for recyclable rubbish, non-recyclable waste,
cans/bottles and garden refuse; daytime collections once a fortnight
at best. Problems:
Pile-up of household waste because of insufficient collections;
traffic disruption during collections, particularly in side streets
and cul de sacs.
SPAIN
- Method: Large
communal bins for various types of waste within easy walking
distance; collections every evening. Advantage:
No unsightly bins outside houses; no interference with traffic; no
pile-up of waste. Problems:
None as far as I can see.
As
for cleaning up the mess that's already there, we have a ready-made
workforce in our prisons. A close friend was talking recently to a
man who had just completed a three-month jail sentence for assaulting
a man who had abused his daughter. The released man said it was the
easiest three months of his life.
Never
mind digging into the Treasury coffers. It's time to get those chain
gangs working to clean up Britain, American style. With proven
litterbugs and pooper-nonscoopers sweating alongside.
What
is also needed is for us all to take the Jeremy Paxman approach to
litter louts – and reprimand the perpetrators. Easier said than
done, you might say, bearing in mind that the 6ft 3in former
Newsnight inquisitor is as physically intimidating a he is with
interviewees.
Paxman
says: “I have found when you confront people and say 'excuse me,
you just dropped this', nine times out of 10, you might be unlucky on
the 10th one, but nine times out of 10 they will say 'oh, sorry' and
will take it away," he says.
“It's
a beautiful country and I just don't understand why people want to
make it full of sh**."
Maybe
he should ask the mucky pups responsible for making it virtually
impossible to tread the pavements of El Raso without kicking up a
stink.
