SCRIBBLING IN THE SUN: MANCHESTER'S GOLDEN OLDIES TOP 10

7 July 2014

MANCHESTER'S GOLDEN OLDIES TOP 10 - WORLD EXCLUSIVE

(Compiled by Choock Bury)

1. The Green Green Grass of Hulme – Tom Jones

2. Oldham River - Paul Robeson

3 Irwell Always Love You – Whitney Houston

4 .Tulips From Urmston Dam – Ronnie Hilton

5 Sunny Hyde of the Street – Frank Sinatra

6. Bat Out Of Hale – Meat Loaf

7. Whitefield Pretty – Natalie Wood (West Side Story)

8 Your Cheetham Heart – Ray Charles

9 Have I Told You Blackley that I Love You – Rod Stewart

10. From Rusholme With Love – Matt Munro

The man with a Silver tongue...

When it comes to one-liners, my friend and ex-colleague DAVID SILVER takes some beating. These gems have come off his Silver tongue recently...

'My wife is flying to Illinois today.' 'Chicago?' 'No, she's a passenger.'

CUSTOMER: 'Do you have anything for synchronous diaphragmatic flutters?' CHEMIST: 'You mean hiccups?' CUSTOMER: 'That's it! I couldn't remember the word.

Started my bookbinding course last night. 'Come in,' said the teacher. 'Make yourself a tome.'

My neighbour has three kids ages 3,5 and 7. I always thought they were odd.

I loved carving wood when I was a whittle boy.

Today's discussion topic: Where do you stand on invisible flooring?

My first girlfriend continues to make illicit whisky. I love her still.

Mrs S has promised to buy me an abacus but I wouldn't count on it.

'I've been to San Francisco,' said Tony heartlessly.

My dear Uncle Harold fell into the reupholstery machine at the furniture factory. He is now fully recovered.

I've been confused for 40 years, ever since reading that Yul Brynner once sustained a hairline fracture.

I'm always on the lookout for conspicuousness.

Mrs S and I steal things together. I'm sure she would corroborate that.

I once met Roger Bannister on the stairs.

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